Many people get stuck when chatting up someone, not knowing what to say, and can only use stiff opening lines like “Hello” or “Can we meet?”, which can easily make the other person feel on guard. In fact, by observing the other person’s details (such as the items they carry, their behavioral status, and the accessories they wear) to design the opening remarks, you can make the conversation more targeted, show your sincerity, and significantly increase the response rate.
Observe the “carried items” to find the entry point. Items are a direct manifestation of the other party’s interests or needs. For instance, if you see the other person holding a notebook with annotations, you can say: “Hello, I see that the handwriting on your notebook is so neat and you have made color annotations. Do you usually like taking notes?” I always can’t take good notes. Could you ask me some methods? If the other person is carrying camping equipment, you can say: “Are you going camping?” I’ve also wanted to give it a try recently, but I don’t know how to choose the equipment. Your set looks very professional. Do you have any recommended entry-level models?” Questions about objects are neither abrupt nor jarring, and they can quickly lead to common topics, making the other party more willing to share.
Observe the “behavioral state” to find topics. For instance, if you see someone repeatedly adjusting the brightness of their computer screen in a coffee shop, you can say, “Hello, is the light here too dazzling?” I’ve encountered this before too. Later, I found that warming up the screen tone would make it much more comfortable. You can give it a try. When you see someone frowning at the map on your phone in the park, you can say, “Are you looking for somewhere?” I’m quite familiar with this area. Maybe I can be of help. Paying attention to the other person’s behavioral state and starting the conversation with “offering small help” can make the other person feel your kindness and lower their guard.
Observe the “accessories worn” to find resonance. For instance, if the necklace the other person is wearing is from a certain niche designer brand, you can say: “This necklace of yours is so special. Is it the work of designer XX?” I saw this series at an exhibition before and really liked it but didn’t dare to buy it. Where did you get it? If the other person is wearing a hoodie printed with the pattern of a certain retro band, you can say: “Do you like this band too?” I just watched their online concert last week. The lead singer’s voice was just amazing. Which of their songs do you like best? Precise observation of details can make the other person feel that “you have noticed me”, which is more likely to get a response than a casual conversation.