When many boys pursue girls, they always want to show their “strong” side, such as “I can handle everything” or “I’ve never encountered any difficulties”, but they don’t know that moderately sharing their “little vulnerabilities” can actually bring them closer. An overly perfect image can make people feel distant, while occasional vulnerability can make you more genuine and approachable, making her feel that “you also need to be cared for”, thereby generating a protective desire and a sense of closeness.
When Xiaoyu was pursuing the girl Xiaoya, he didn’t deliberately pretend to be “strong”. Once when talking about work, Xiaoyu candidly said, “Recently, the project pressure has been very high. I worked overtime until the early hours of the morning yesterday and almost fell asleep on my way home. Now when I think about it, I still feel quite scared.” After hearing this, Xiaoya didn’t think he was “useless”. Instead, she said with concern, “Then you should pay more attention to rest and not be too tired. I have some refreshing mint candies here. I’ll bring them to you next time.” After that, Xiaoya would take the initiative to ask Xiaoyu, “Are you tired from work today?” and their relationship also became closer from “ordinary friends”.
When sharing your vulnerability moderately, it’s important to grasp the “right measure”. Don’t mistake “complaining” for “vulnerability”. For instance, don’t keep saying “Work is so hard, I’m so miserable” every day, as it will make people think you are brimming with negative energy. Instead, they share “specific little troubles”, such as “I always burn the dishes when I learn to cook. Do you have any tips?” “I have a poor sense of direction. I spent a long time looking for a new place last time.” After sharing, also give her the chance to care about you. For instance, if she says, “Next time I’ll teach you how to cook,” Don’t refuse by saying, “No need. I can learn it by myself.” Instead, say, “Sure, then I must study hard.” True vulnerability can break the sense of distance, making her feel that you are “approachable”, and the relationship will also warm up through mutual care.
