Many people tend to be “impatient” when getting into a relationship – confessing their love just a few days after meeting. Wanting to establish a relationship before getting familiar with each other; Even if the other party has a little affection for you and you become overly enthusiastic, the result will instead make them feel disgusted and distant. Getting out of being single is like “growing plants”, which requires a gradual process. Three psychological rhythms can help you grasp the right measure and let the relationship heat up naturally.
The first rhythm: “Build a sense of ‘comfort’ first, then talk about liking.” The foundation of a relationship is “comfort” – only when the other person feels at ease and comfortable getting along with you will they be willing to get to know you better. Don’t rush to express your affection as soon as you meet someone (like “I like you. Be my partner”), but first build a sense of comfort through daily chats and shared activities: for instance, share some small things in life every day (” I saw a super cute cat today. Let me show you the photo “). Do the things we like together (for example, “I found a nice bookstore. Would you like to go there this weekend?”) ); Show concern when the other person needs it (for example, “I heard you have a cold. Remember to drink more hot water. Do you want me to bring you some cold medicine?”) ” After a certain lady met a man, she didn’t rush to confess her feelings. Instead, they visited exhibitions and chatted about books together. After getting to know each other for a month, both of them felt “very comfortable being with each other”. The man took the initiative to confess his feelings, and their relationship developed naturally. Remember, a “liking” without a sense of comfort might be a “pressure” to the other person rather than a “surprise”.
The second rhythm: “Judge the other party’s attitude through ‘detailed observation’, and then advance the relationship.” When getting into a relationship, don’t push things forward in a self-satisfied way. Instead, judge your affection level based on the other person’s detailed reactions: If the other person initiates a chat with you, replies promptly, is willing to share their life, and agrees to your invitation, it indicates that they have a good impression of you. If the other party responds perfunctorily, always makes excuses to refuse the invitation, or seldom takes the initiative to contact, it indicates a low level of favorability. It is necessary to slow down the pace or even cut losses in time. After a man met a woman, he sent her a lot of messages every day and frequently invited her out. However, he didn’t notice that she always replied with “um” and “oh”, and when inviting her out, she always said “no time”. Eventually, she blocked him. Another man found that the woman would take the initiative to share interesting things at work and remember what he had said about “liking spicy food”. He would proactively recommend spicy restaurants. After judging that she had a good impression of her, he gradually advanced the relationship and successfully got out of being single. Details don’t lie. Only by adjusting the pace according to the other party’s attitude can one avoid the embarrassment of being overly enthusiastic.
The third rhythm: “Leave some ‘blank time’ for the relationship and avoid excessive entanglement.” Many people are eager to get out of being single and will spend all their time with their partners – sending dozens of messages every day. If the other party doesn’t reply, keep asking repeatedly. Even when the other person needs to be alone, they won’t let go. This will make the other person feel “suffocated” and want to escape. Emotions need to be “blank”, giving space to both the other person and yourself: for instance, don’t chat every day. Occasionally pause for 1-2 days to allow the other person to have time to miss you. Don’t expect the other party to accept every invitation. Respect their arrangements. Don’t pry into the other person’s privacy (such as “Who were you chatting with just now?”) Why didn’t you reply to my message? Give the other party trust. When a certain lady is in a relationship with a man, she doesn’t contact him every day. Instead, she “chats seriously when he talks to her, and does her own things (reading, working out) when he doesn’t.” The man, on the contrary, thinks “she is very independent and not clingy,” and thus takes the initiative to contact her. Leaving some blank space can make the relationship feel more “breathing”, and it is actually easier to warm up.
